"Don't Be Mainstream!" is the war-cry of many subcultures, countercultures and "scenes" (groups of people who decide to do things differently from the "mainstream" of the USA). Brightly colored hair, piercings, tattoos, retro looks and styles, different ways of acting and thinking about things....what is the hope here? Do the people involved in these things truly understand what they are doing, what they are hoping will happen, what they are "pushing", what statements they are making?
What is the hope of splinter scenes like Rockabilly? Deathrock? Punk Rock, Rave, Hippie, New Age, Hardcore, Metal....the list is endless. WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO DO?
If you ask any person in any of these groups, they will say "I want to be different from everyone else". "I want to be accepted for who I really am and not have to be somebody I'm not in order to be accepted". "I want to get everyone to think differently". "I want people not to be so materialistic and to focus on what's really important in life". "I want people to stop being so decadent, and I want not to be decadent but to live simply in a way that makes sense for me as a person". "I want to include more Art in my life and less cookie-cutter". "I want people to recognize my pain in not being accepted and not being listened to".
So what is at the end of this journey? After you've been SO "different", and SO "away from the mainstream", and SO "unique", what kind of a person are you hoping to become? And what are you going to do if nobody decides to change as a result of the living performance art you've been giving this whole time?
So you decide to be this way, and you get all the clothes, and you do your hair, and you are outspoken against all the "hypocracy" and "sheeple" that you see. You join a group of people whom you assume think the same way you do. BUT DO THEY?
If you are a woman, how many times have you been slighted, ignored and not given a leadership position in your group in favor of a man- WITHIN A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO ARE SUPPOSEDLY "ALTERNATIVE"??? Have you been abused in a relationship with a man who is supposedly "alternative?" Have you been taken advantage of or slighted in a band situation, or group situation which is supposed to be creating art or accomplishing some other goal? Have you been shunted into a managerial or promotional role, or made to be a "bartender" or "door girl" when what you should have been was the main event? Have you been treated like "someone's property" because you're dating them, and "not allowed" to speak normally to the other people in the environment you are in, or somehow restricted? HOW IS THIS AN "ALTERNATIVE" TO WHAT HAPPENS IN THE MAINSTREAM??? So the man has Manic Panic dyed hair, or a shaved head, or long hair, or whatever. So the other people in your group are wearing tye dye, or bondage pants, or rave pants, or whatever statement they make. IF YOU ARE GETTING TREATED THE SAME WAY AS THE "MAINSTREAM", YOU ARE *NOT* IN AN ALTERNATIVE SCENE- you just look a little bit different and have a little more attitude- THAT'S IT. You need to take a hard look at the people around you. WHAT IS IT THAT THEY ARE GETTING OUT OF ALL THIS??? If they just want to get laid by hot girls with colored hair or piercings or whatever, but treat them exactly the same as jocks would, YOU NEED TO GET OUT AND GET NEW FRIENDS.
Let's talk about appearance. When the goal of your group is to get several thousand dollars worth of supposed "alternative" clothing, HOW IS THAT DIFFERENT FROM BEING A CONSUMER??? How about a very expensive haircut and dye job with multiple levels of color that took 5 hours to execute? Or high rent to live in the most "bohemian" area of town? THIS IS THE ULTIMATE IN CONSUMERISM - yet you are supposedly "against consumerism???? How is this "not materialistic"? Stores that sell $1000 items yet are supposedly "not mainstream"??? NO WAY. This is just simple fetishism. And there's nothing wrong with that, at all - but you should know what you're doing rather than believe you are being different from the guy who wants that really great car and that really great house. It's a little more creative and artsy, but it's pretty much the same in it's lust for material things.
What is it that you TRULY want to achieve? Make sure that the people around you match up to these goals. If you want equality, you can NOT hang out with "jocks in alternative clothing". If you want clarity, you can NOT hang out with drug addicts or alcoholics. If you want non-materialism, you can't hang out with expensive clothes collectors. Or record collectors. Or other hoarders.
How about social pecking order. Does anyone in your group tell you that you are "not allowed" to like a certain person or people? Why? Do they change who you are not supposed to like on a regular basis, or give various and conflicting reasons why you are "not supposed" to like them ? Have you ever seen members of your group physically attack others? Why? Did you agree with what happened? Does anyone in your group constantly badmouth another person or constantly say abusive things? Is there any reason you should be "taking orders" from someone else about how you feel? Why would you do that? Are you "not being allowed" to make social decisions for yourself? Do you ever hold things inside about the way you feel or the people you like, knowing that "you could be next" if you "say the wrong thing" ? Does anyone in your group make you feel uncomfortable or controlled? This is NOT FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION. THIS IS NOT BEING YOURSELF. This is gang violence, and it is a very serious and dangerous matter, so much so that when you realize you are in it, you should get out right away. This type of thing can seriously injure someone mentally and physically and is NOT cool to be involved in, in any shape or form. It is analogous to groups of jocks looking for a fight or exiling someone from their group or their town, bullying, and in many cases can lead to illegal activity or is illegal in and of itself. If your group has problems like this, YOU NEED TO LEAVE RIGHT AWAY. Choose a group of less violent, more socially aware and reasonable individuals to spend your time with.
Let's talk about uniqueness- if everybody in your group is dressing the same way, HOW IS THIS UNIQUE? The uniqueness has a shelf-life of until everyone else in the country finds out about it- then merchants can make a lot of money hawking these wares to others who wish they were unique. It's a BUSINESS, with musicians as the high-priests, record labels, book stores and clothing/accessory merchants following in at a close second in importance. Make no mistake about it, it's a sales engine and COMPLETELY MATERIALISTIC. Which is COOL- if THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT. If this is NOT what you want, then you've got some thinking to do about where you should be and who you should be with.
Take a look around. Do your friends TRULY share your views? How about your partner? Are you unhappy? Why? Did the way you got treated in any situation make you feel upset? What is your real enjoyment in doing what you are doing, and where is it coming from?
How this is a Scam:
A true Alternative Scene is in actuality very different from Mainstream Culture. Too many people missed their chance to be popular in High School or Collage and are now bent on dominating a group of people with the same values they "missed out" on being able to take part in when they were in school. Real "Alternative" people are out there doing things differently, being different, and in actuality don't care how many clothes they've amassed, how many albums they own, if they have the coolest hairstyle and so forth. Young people can be duped into spending a lot of money, being in an abusive relationship, hanging out in groups of people which have aspects of gang violence or hyper materialism, and spending years enmeshed in these "scenes" until they finally realize what THEY are all about and that their "scene" really doesn't match up with their goals.
How To Cut And Run:
Quit buying things, first of all. One of the biggest things about Mainstream Culture in the USA is that it is Consumerist and tells you that your main worth is in what you buy. Just stop. Start putting your money toward things that you TRULY care about- for example, a cause you care about, or a savings account for your future, or a music studio you wanted to build, or anything that you really needed.
Quit listening to others about what to do - you can listen to your own heart about who you like, what you'd like to do and what steps to take next in your life. It's not as though you shouldn't take other's opinions into consideration, but always be aware that this is an opinion and you are under no obligation to take that person's opinion into account in your own decisions about yourself and your life.
And most definitely if you've experienced or seen abuse, don't take a second glance backward - get all your stuff and BE GONE. Act first, ask questions later. Do what it takes to insulate yourself from anyone who would treat you or others abusively, wether it's blocking them on social networking or out of your phone, or making a police report - make sure that you yourself are safe, even if it's not you that was being attacked, because in that situation it could be you next. "Alternative Scenes" can act as a gateway for abusers to find vulnerable people to abuse- make sure you are NOT one of them.
What is the hope of splinter scenes like Rockabilly? Deathrock? Punk Rock, Rave, Hippie, New Age, Hardcore, Metal....the list is endless. WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO DO?
If you ask any person in any of these groups, they will say "I want to be different from everyone else". "I want to be accepted for who I really am and not have to be somebody I'm not in order to be accepted". "I want to get everyone to think differently". "I want people not to be so materialistic and to focus on what's really important in life". "I want people to stop being so decadent, and I want not to be decadent but to live simply in a way that makes sense for me as a person". "I want to include more Art in my life and less cookie-cutter". "I want people to recognize my pain in not being accepted and not being listened to".
So what is at the end of this journey? After you've been SO "different", and SO "away from the mainstream", and SO "unique", what kind of a person are you hoping to become? And what are you going to do if nobody decides to change as a result of the living performance art you've been giving this whole time?
So you decide to be this way, and you get all the clothes, and you do your hair, and you are outspoken against all the "hypocracy" and "sheeple" that you see. You join a group of people whom you assume think the same way you do. BUT DO THEY?
If you are a woman, how many times have you been slighted, ignored and not given a leadership position in your group in favor of a man- WITHIN A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO ARE SUPPOSEDLY "ALTERNATIVE"??? Have you been abused in a relationship with a man who is supposedly "alternative?" Have you been taken advantage of or slighted in a band situation, or group situation which is supposed to be creating art or accomplishing some other goal? Have you been shunted into a managerial or promotional role, or made to be a "bartender" or "door girl" when what you should have been was the main event? Have you been treated like "someone's property" because you're dating them, and "not allowed" to speak normally to the other people in the environment you are in, or somehow restricted? HOW IS THIS AN "ALTERNATIVE" TO WHAT HAPPENS IN THE MAINSTREAM??? So the man has Manic Panic dyed hair, or a shaved head, or long hair, or whatever. So the other people in your group are wearing tye dye, or bondage pants, or rave pants, or whatever statement they make. IF YOU ARE GETTING TREATED THE SAME WAY AS THE "MAINSTREAM", YOU ARE *NOT* IN AN ALTERNATIVE SCENE- you just look a little bit different and have a little more attitude- THAT'S IT. You need to take a hard look at the people around you. WHAT IS IT THAT THEY ARE GETTING OUT OF ALL THIS??? If they just want to get laid by hot girls with colored hair or piercings or whatever, but treat them exactly the same as jocks would, YOU NEED TO GET OUT AND GET NEW FRIENDS.
Let's talk about appearance. When the goal of your group is to get several thousand dollars worth of supposed "alternative" clothing, HOW IS THAT DIFFERENT FROM BEING A CONSUMER??? How about a very expensive haircut and dye job with multiple levels of color that took 5 hours to execute? Or high rent to live in the most "bohemian" area of town? THIS IS THE ULTIMATE IN CONSUMERISM - yet you are supposedly "against consumerism???? How is this "not materialistic"? Stores that sell $1000 items yet are supposedly "not mainstream"??? NO WAY. This is just simple fetishism. And there's nothing wrong with that, at all - but you should know what you're doing rather than believe you are being different from the guy who wants that really great car and that really great house. It's a little more creative and artsy, but it's pretty much the same in it's lust for material things.
What is it that you TRULY want to achieve? Make sure that the people around you match up to these goals. If you want equality, you can NOT hang out with "jocks in alternative clothing". If you want clarity, you can NOT hang out with drug addicts or alcoholics. If you want non-materialism, you can't hang out with expensive clothes collectors. Or record collectors. Or other hoarders.
How about social pecking order. Does anyone in your group tell you that you are "not allowed" to like a certain person or people? Why? Do they change who you are not supposed to like on a regular basis, or give various and conflicting reasons why you are "not supposed" to like them ? Have you ever seen members of your group physically attack others? Why? Did you agree with what happened? Does anyone in your group constantly badmouth another person or constantly say abusive things? Is there any reason you should be "taking orders" from someone else about how you feel? Why would you do that? Are you "not being allowed" to make social decisions for yourself? Do you ever hold things inside about the way you feel or the people you like, knowing that "you could be next" if you "say the wrong thing" ? Does anyone in your group make you feel uncomfortable or controlled? This is NOT FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION. THIS IS NOT BEING YOURSELF. This is gang violence, and it is a very serious and dangerous matter, so much so that when you realize you are in it, you should get out right away. This type of thing can seriously injure someone mentally and physically and is NOT cool to be involved in, in any shape or form. It is analogous to groups of jocks looking for a fight or exiling someone from their group or their town, bullying, and in many cases can lead to illegal activity or is illegal in and of itself. If your group has problems like this, YOU NEED TO LEAVE RIGHT AWAY. Choose a group of less violent, more socially aware and reasonable individuals to spend your time with.
Let's talk about uniqueness- if everybody in your group is dressing the same way, HOW IS THIS UNIQUE? The uniqueness has a shelf-life of until everyone else in the country finds out about it- then merchants can make a lot of money hawking these wares to others who wish they were unique. It's a BUSINESS, with musicians as the high-priests, record labels, book stores and clothing/accessory merchants following in at a close second in importance. Make no mistake about it, it's a sales engine and COMPLETELY MATERIALISTIC. Which is COOL- if THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT. If this is NOT what you want, then you've got some thinking to do about where you should be and who you should be with.
Take a look around. Do your friends TRULY share your views? How about your partner? Are you unhappy? Why? Did the way you got treated in any situation make you feel upset? What is your real enjoyment in doing what you are doing, and where is it coming from?
How this is a Scam:
A true Alternative Scene is in actuality very different from Mainstream Culture. Too many people missed their chance to be popular in High School or Collage and are now bent on dominating a group of people with the same values they "missed out" on being able to take part in when they were in school. Real "Alternative" people are out there doing things differently, being different, and in actuality don't care how many clothes they've amassed, how many albums they own, if they have the coolest hairstyle and so forth. Young people can be duped into spending a lot of money, being in an abusive relationship, hanging out in groups of people which have aspects of gang violence or hyper materialism, and spending years enmeshed in these "scenes" until they finally realize what THEY are all about and that their "scene" really doesn't match up with their goals.
How To Cut And Run:
Quit buying things, first of all. One of the biggest things about Mainstream Culture in the USA is that it is Consumerist and tells you that your main worth is in what you buy. Just stop. Start putting your money toward things that you TRULY care about- for example, a cause you care about, or a savings account for your future, or a music studio you wanted to build, or anything that you really needed.
Quit listening to others about what to do - you can listen to your own heart about who you like, what you'd like to do and what steps to take next in your life. It's not as though you shouldn't take other's opinions into consideration, but always be aware that this is an opinion and you are under no obligation to take that person's opinion into account in your own decisions about yourself and your life.
And most definitely if you've experienced or seen abuse, don't take a second glance backward - get all your stuff and BE GONE. Act first, ask questions later. Do what it takes to insulate yourself from anyone who would treat you or others abusively, wether it's blocking them on social networking or out of your phone, or making a police report - make sure that you yourself are safe, even if it's not you that was being attacked, because in that situation it could be you next. "Alternative Scenes" can act as a gateway for abusers to find vulnerable people to abuse- make sure you are NOT one of them.
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