Recently, ROSEANNE BAR partnered with TRACI LORDS to produce a radio talk show dedicated to the factors that cause rapes like the one in Steubenville, Ohio (Stupidville) that happened this past August. Traci Lords is from Steubenville and she was raped there at age 10, and subsequently molested by her mother's boyfriend as a tween and early teen, which lead to her porn career at age 15-16. Her mother spent her life in Steubenville, and she was also raped.
I was going to add this video to my blog about this rape, however it contained so much good content that I felt it deserved an entry and title of it's own. It's about how these roles of victim, abuser, aider-and-abetter, etc, are programmed into us in emotionally and physically violent ways starting at an early age, leading to stunted, painful and abbreviated lives. Girls- victims, shamed, a caste of second class citizens who don't count and who's status and safety is dependent upon a man. Women- same as girls, victims and enablers- collude in helping men abuse or take the victim's place. Men- abusers, advantage takers who are not allowed to care about their victims or else they will risk their "manly" status- the only thing important is the other guys or their status in the group. Boys- must prove to these abusers who are grooming them that they are tough and manly, they have no sympathy and are able to take advantage of victims, make fun of their pain, etc.
This programming stays with people for life and when crimes are committed as a result of this programming, they are colluded with and covered up by the whole group- Girls- don't report crimes, don't name their abusers, try to keep it covered up to avoid shame Women- act as accessories to the crimes to please men, ignore the crimes and "don't believe it" when it is brought to their attention, try to shield the abusers from the repercussions of their crimes, etc Men- deny that it happened, minimize the situation and obfuscate, organize cronies to cover up their crime, etc. Boys- act as tools to commit crimes directed by "leaders", try hard to please these men by being callous to the pain they cause and joking about it, etc, prove their "status" in the "advantage taking group or gang", it's all about other men when they do this, a homoerotic subtext.
The lives lived as a result of this programming are hardly worth living- Girls- repeatedly put themselves in a position where they will be victimized and taken advantage of, don't prosecute the abusers, feel a sense of shame and low self worth, may attempt to harm self, etc. Women- same as Girls, in addition don't live up to their potential as a human being, low self worth, incapable of breaking away from abusers, expose their children to harm and then must live with the fact that they've done that, etc. Men- not allowed to have feelings, must be tough and strong or sacrifice status as a "Man", must be in control all the time, not allowed to communicate or show humanity other than to give orders, etc. Boys- not allowed to care, self esteem dependent on the approval of the group of Men and Boys all the time, being excluded from group of Men and Boys is like worst nightmare, will hurt, abandon and shame a victim rather than risk their status in the group.
Who benefits from this scam? MEN WHO PARTICIPATE IN IT, who form a group of cronies and seize ALL the power, money, opportunity, etc in the area, after having systematically beaten down and controlled everybody else through shame, humiliation, violence, abuse, cronyism, strict enforcement of gender and other roles, etc. If they can they will take over all the posts of authority in the place.
These scenarios happen all over, but tend to fester in small towns like Stupidville where it is easy for Rapist Culture to take hold. GENERATIONS of rapists- are we ready to break the cycle? Listen to this video, it is great.
I was going to add this video to my blog about this rape, however it contained so much good content that I felt it deserved an entry and title of it's own. It's about how these roles of victim, abuser, aider-and-abetter, etc, are programmed into us in emotionally and physically violent ways starting at an early age, leading to stunted, painful and abbreviated lives. Girls- victims, shamed, a caste of second class citizens who don't count and who's status and safety is dependent upon a man. Women- same as girls, victims and enablers- collude in helping men abuse or take the victim's place. Men- abusers, advantage takers who are not allowed to care about their victims or else they will risk their "manly" status- the only thing important is the other guys or their status in the group. Boys- must prove to these abusers who are grooming them that they are tough and manly, they have no sympathy and are able to take advantage of victims, make fun of their pain, etc.
This programming stays with people for life and when crimes are committed as a result of this programming, they are colluded with and covered up by the whole group- Girls- don't report crimes, don't name their abusers, try to keep it covered up to avoid shame Women- act as accessories to the crimes to please men, ignore the crimes and "don't believe it" when it is brought to their attention, try to shield the abusers from the repercussions of their crimes, etc Men- deny that it happened, minimize the situation and obfuscate, organize cronies to cover up their crime, etc. Boys- act as tools to commit crimes directed by "leaders", try hard to please these men by being callous to the pain they cause and joking about it, etc, prove their "status" in the "advantage taking group or gang", it's all about other men when they do this, a homoerotic subtext.
The lives lived as a result of this programming are hardly worth living- Girls- repeatedly put themselves in a position where they will be victimized and taken advantage of, don't prosecute the abusers, feel a sense of shame and low self worth, may attempt to harm self, etc. Women- same as Girls, in addition don't live up to their potential as a human being, low self worth, incapable of breaking away from abusers, expose their children to harm and then must live with the fact that they've done that, etc. Men- not allowed to have feelings, must be tough and strong or sacrifice status as a "Man", must be in control all the time, not allowed to communicate or show humanity other than to give orders, etc. Boys- not allowed to care, self esteem dependent on the approval of the group of Men and Boys all the time, being excluded from group of Men and Boys is like worst nightmare, will hurt, abandon and shame a victim rather than risk their status in the group.
Who benefits from this scam? MEN WHO PARTICIPATE IN IT, who form a group of cronies and seize ALL the power, money, opportunity, etc in the area, after having systematically beaten down and controlled everybody else through shame, humiliation, violence, abuse, cronyism, strict enforcement of gender and other roles, etc. If they can they will take over all the posts of authority in the place.
These scenarios happen all over, but tend to fester in small towns like Stupidville where it is easy for Rapist Culture to take hold. GENERATIONS of rapists- are we ready to break the cycle? Listen to this video, it is great.
HOW TO CUT AND RUN:
If you feel yourself to be trapped in a circle of this kind of thinking and actions, LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. This could be literally buying a ticket and being gone the next day, or just choosing to cut off everyone you talk to. It's a situation of dire emergency, you could be attacked, killed, raped, or forced or manipulated to do this to someone else. DO NOT RAISE YOUR CHILDREN IN THIS, even if you have to get a messy divorce, etc. If everybody leaves except the rapists, they will be left to sit around and abuse each other(which will quickly happen because they will easily sacrifice one of their group to have another victim) - their system only works if there are victims to abuse. DO NOT be fodder for this. If you feel AT ALL that you are not being listened to and are being treated as a second class citizen, GET OUT. You and your children's lives depend on it, as well as those of other people. No job, no amount of money, no marriage, NOTHING IS WORTH THIS.
"Cut and run"... almost perfect advice - almost.
ReplyDelete"If everybody leaves except the rapists, they will be left to sit around and abuse each other"
Unfortunately, this doesn't happen for a plain and horrifying reason: secrecy. While getting out of the situation may help the direct victims, there are always the neighbors, the customers, the bosses, whole swaths of a community unaware of (or supportive of the denial of) the actions of the abusers. You, the victim, may leave, but behind you in the community you've removed yourself from will remain the evil, alive and healthy because of the unwitting people who feed it (him), who do business with and socially support him.
Yes, the first thing you must do, and do at all costs, is remove yourself and your loved ones from these environments and from the reach of such revolting and criminal men. But unless you burn them completely out of the place they've nested in the social fabric, there will surely be future victims. For the young daughter of the neighbors or the new female student at the school, unwitting of the cannibal in their proximity, will soon be gnawed with cruel relish.
Every possibility to ferret out and remove these revolting inhuman criminals from our world must be taken advantage of to the fullest extent. Daylight must shine into every crevice that these rancid creeps slither through, and at all costs.
The embarrassment of their existence and any complicity we may have in it is no longer adequate rationale for inaction. Reveal them, blow the whistles, scream about them. They must be purged to an extent beyond any previous. They must become extinct.